I’ve been thinking, perhaps even over-thinking, how to get back into just sitting and writing the ever-evolving thoughts and feelings and anxiousness about everything going on in my life at the moment and to be honest it’s a bit of a struggle!
We’re now in December (Happy December and 3 weeks left of school everyone!) ya’anee I haven’t written a word since the summer. A lot has changed, and is still changing and I’m trying to wrap my head around it all whilst appearing sane lol if you follow me on snapchat you’ve probably realized I’m back in school hence the oh so impressive new vocabulary I’ve come across and shared.lawl. we moved flats, and Saira doesn’t usually do well with moving as it’s a bit of a flustering panic attack but alhamdulillah I think this one was okay and your girl coped well! New management at school alongside a classroom which essentially mirrors a tin of sardines, and students who just aren’t clicking onto routines and behaviour just add to the cauldron of life, not to mention potential deportation scares and paperwork issues which truly represent new heights of frustration and testing of ones patience. Friendships, relationships, patience, and emotional stability have been a big fat ‘argh’ lately, and I’ve even considered (briefly!) maybe packing up and moving back to good old P-town…and y’all know Saira never resorts to that option lol
Because of paperwork and such we haven’t been able to take advantage of any holidays to travel and I know, woe is me, but it’s like when you’re really excited to eat that last piece of chocolate cake with the fat piece of frosting on it only to realize someones eaten the frosting bit and left you with shitty sponge which only exists in the first place to be rationed in equal parts with that very frosting and you just sit there helplessly poking at the sponge hoping for some filling to ooze out to make it worth your while? that. Someone’s taken my frosting, or maybe I’m just growing up and becoming an old person, or maybe the Lord is reminding me to resort back to him, I don’t know. Something’s going on. Adele and the Queen Bee are keeping me going and for the first time in a long time I’m looking forward to going home for Christmas and snow. Uber excited for eggnog as well I might add! I miss my family and my siblings and just being safe and snuggly in mamas lap where the world feels right and mamas love is all you need, even if it is just for a brief moment.
There’s a massive final assignment I’ve got due in a few days which I desperately need to look at and get a move on, but there are def a couple thinkings I have stored away to post about; if not for those of you who still keep up, at least for me ickle self. It’s quite therapeutic. x