Its officially been 3 years since I’ve been in Kuwait and 6 months since I was last home. I like doing these end of year posts because it allows for some much needed reflection on all the goodness and madness that took place and what I’ve learned from it.
This year away was one of the best and worst times thus far and there came a point where I was ready to give it all up and consciously commit to a complacent, mundane life I know I could easily achieve back home. I think I survived pretty good. I was given an opportunity to find myself, who I am and what I want, in the worst of situations and learned a little thing or two about people. People who matter and people who don’t. People who bring light and love and goodness into your life and are there to watch you ugly cry or grab a ‘Mackers’ at 2 in the morning or inspire you to make an hour on the treadmill and who you know deep down will be there for you no matter where in the world they might be. People that motivate you and push you to follow your dreams and to do what you’re good at and willingly support you because they genuinely believe in you and all that you have to offer the world. I learned that family is a word which encompasses so much more than those who share the same bloodline or bed as you and I feel unbelievably blessed and lucky to have found that this year alongside a constant support system when at times I just really wanted my mama to make it all better x I’ve written about the inconsistency of this life before and how it has the potential to ruin you and your sense of belonging and long-term comfort which I do despise, but this year I’m holding on to the fact that people always change but the memories don’t; focusing on the good memories of course. The fact that each year is never the same as the last (neither are the people unfortunately) made me consciously appreciate and cherish each and every moment of living; saying whatever I wanted to say, doing whatever I wanted to do, putting 3 white sugars into my cappuccino whilst feeling unabashed and having no regrets about any of it (the white sugars eventually became 2.5 brown sugars for calories sake but that’s besides the point!)
I was involved in my very first deportation scare, my very first car accident where I thought I was going to get hurt real bad because I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and fractured my nose, got my wisdom tooth taken out (which is a big life deal because I’m a crybaby and it took me 3 weeks to recover..), contracted pinkeye, realized its possible to give yourself a panic attack, learned that time and a bit of faith can work wonders, started going to the gym consistently (I’m no longer the owner of a pancake ass thankyouverymuch), started reading for pleasure again, have begun to stop using salt in me cooking (which mama might have an issue with), had some really cool opportunities in terms of social media and events etc. which was uber exciting!, half mastered liquid eyeliner which is a task in and of itself (cottonbuds are key), and learned how to download movies and shows on me own (go me!) Going back to uni also turned out to be a good shout Alhamdulillah and inshallah it keeps going well. I travelled on my own, made friends with complete strangers, and tried new things well outside my comfort zone. Not sure what the summer holds yet in terms of travel but time spent with mama and family is definitely well overdue! (I’m listening to you niggs x)
I’ve realised that sometimes you can’t plan for everything and taking a step back to let life take its course is what your soul needs. Everything really does happen for a reason and whatever is meant to fall in place will do so on its own accord, on its own time. I know it sounds really easy but in reality it consumes you and makes you anxious and a little bit craycray, but its one of those things you’ve just got to deal with and find your own way to cope. Not knowing whats around the corner allows for that glimmer of hope and faith that something good is to come which is often just enough to keep us going!
Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe summer and a belated Ramadan Kareem! Inshallah it’s been a blessed month thus far and that you’ve been fortunate to spend it amongst loved ones x Be safe, travel safe, tell your mama you love her, give endless amounts of hugs to people you care about, put happiness and love into everything you do, give your time, smile at people, mind your manners, “be happy, stay happy, and make others happy”, and don’t forget to keep in touch with your favourite felicias x x x